Adventures in meditation
When I realized my approach might be completely wrong.
Like many others (maybe… you?), I’m an infrequent meditator. I aspire to make it part of my routine and sometimes I’ll build up a respectable streak, only to have it fall apart spectacularly.
I got tired of stock photos.
I get when people say that it’s not for them. My own father said that he tried doing it a few times, but he found it really difficult to not get lost thinking about other things. And this was way before all the attention-engineered vices of today.
But part of me doesn’t want to succumb that easily. I know that it’s valuable. And what’s best for us isn’t always easy. It takes time, repetition, and commitment. Even something as simple as walking (well, for most folks) will be challenging if you don’t do it regularly. Try bedrotting for 7 days straight and tell me how it feels when you start moving again.
Somewhere along the many starts and stops, I realized my approach might be completely off.1 I was approaching meditation like I did with running, lifting weights, or business. You do something to get a result. And this just doesn’t work well with meditation. It’s different.
To that effect, I wanted to share some of the common issues people have in their approach, plus some solutions suggestions on how you can approach it.
Common issues
Having a goal
A lot of people fall prey to this because it’s how we’re conditioned to approach much of our lives. We want meditation to be a means to an end whether that’s less anxiety, a new idea, or enlightenment. But when you force it, it backfires. Meditation can help you do a lot of these things, but only if you aren’t so controlling about what it needs to do in what timeframe.
Trying to make it a routine
The other thing that traces back to control is trying to make it a habit, specifically doing meditation at a certain time each day. That approach works well for a lot of other things, but not always for meditation. Maybe it’s because I already have too many routines that adding one more is just a chore? Or that it goes against what meditation is about?
Wandering thoughts
You might start meditating with the intention of being in a blank state and focusing on your breath, only to have that give way to thinking about your life, insecurities, or what you need to do right after. It’s why a lot of people think they can’t meditate and give up entirely. Your ADHD brain becomes the scapegoat.
A different approach
Forget about meditation goals
You probably have enough goals as it is. So let meditation be something you do without them. If you can learn to view this time as something you do for yourself, meditation can be a lot more enjoyable and something you look forward to. It’s your time to spend time with yourself, free of distractions. But whatever happens, happens. Practice some detachment.
Vary your meditations
Meditation doesn’t actually have to mean sitting on an organic meditation pillow, legs crossed, eyes closed, and a straight spine. Your daily life provides lots of opportunities to practice a meditative state. Walking, running, and surfing are meditative. So are knitting and gardening. The same with cooking, washing the dishes, or decluttering your living space. It’s all about perspective.
Be at peace with imperfection
Meditation isn’t always going to be smooth. So let go. A lot of the time, your mind will wander, but that’s completely normal because your brain was designed to find problems and address them. Learn to see an opportunity in this. You can practice being aware of your wandering mind and bring it back. It’s not a failure, and every time you bring your mind back, you get stronger.
A connection to creativity
In Fantasy, Bruno Munari talks about different types of creativity. Some types of creativity aren’t merely connecting two ideas or remixing them, but conceiving something entirely unique (whether practical or not). I like to think of meditation as an opportunity to tap into universal intelligence (or connecting to source). We shouldn’t force it, but a detached ask of inspiration can be nice. I pretend to be connecting with invisible frequencies that may allow me to see new opportunities.
A few final words
Meditation is never a waste of time, even if it doesn’t go as planned. It’s free and there for us whenever we need it. It’s also there to teach us something about ourselves and the world — a reminder that not everything can be achieved through sheer will or force.
Sometimes I think about what the world might be like if more people meditated. I imagine it’d be less violent and filled with gratitude for all that we have. But again, we can’t approach that transition by forcing people to meditate. You start with yourself, knowing that the world is a reflection of what’s going on inside you. Maybe you share your experiences if you feel inspired.
The truth is I don’t know as much about meditation as someone who has spent years studying and living the lifestyle, but I do trust that when I meditate, I’m contributing toward the greater good. And that’s reason enough to do it.